Fighting Frustrations

Have you ever felt this uncontrollable desire to be someone else? Have you felt this intense internal pressure to make a change? Or felt frustrations that you aren’t on the path you’re “supposed to be”?

How many times have you woken up feeling that you were wasting your life away?

Me. All the time.

There’s been one time in my life where I knew I was in the right place; where I knew I was doing exactly what I was meant to do, and that was when I was on competition prep. Everyday I woke up knowing exactly what my purpose was and, how I was going to get there.

I had all the tools I needed, I had full control, and I knew that I would reach it.

And we wonder why bodybuilders continue to compete...

My fitness life aside, I struggle with questioning every move I make. I question every decision, but the biggest thing I struggle with most of all is feeling frustrated. All the time.

But where does this frustration come from?

I know I’m not alone when I express these emotions. I know that they are so common especially with the current global situation and my generation.

I’m a 27 year old female. So what does that mean?

Does that mean that I’m supposed to be seriously involved with someone? In a career that provides me with an income to enjoy my life the way I want? Driving the car I want?

Heck, should I be married by now? Looking to buy a house?

I don’t know.

The biggest question is- are these things that I genuinely want?

Or are they things that society has made me THINK I want?

So I ask again; where does this frustration come from?

The answer varies from person to person so I can only speculate by using my own personal experiences.

Let’s start with our childhoods. YES, everything seems to stem from how we were raised. It makes me terrified to be a parent myself knowing the influence parents have on their kids...

I digress.

Where was I? Oh, right. My childhood.

I was an only child without siblings to distract my parents. I had their full attention with no one they could compare me with. Was this a blessing? Absolutely. I would much rather that than the alternative of being neglected, but as with anything, there is a consequence to that undivided attention and lack of comparison. Standards were set high for me, and I grew trying to always reach them not really knowing if I was.

This “striving for greatness” has continued on to adulthood; making me never want to disappoint my family and to be the best I can person I can be.

So without siblings, who do I have to compare with?

That’s where society comes in.

Siblings or not, society is always there to be the judge on how “successful” our lives are.

But why? Why do we care so much about what society thinks? Why do we care about what everyone else is doing or where they are in their stage of life?

Siblings or society- why do we feel the need to compare in the first place?

We are all different. We are all unique and on our different paths in life. How can we expect to be on the same road as everyone else when we are not like everyone else?

Comparing ourselves to others creates so many negative feelings and emotions. So what if Susie Q has a boyfriend? So what if Johnny DoGood has a new car? Hilda got a promotion? Good for her.

You are on the path that you are meant to be on. You may want the things that Susie, Johnny, and Hilda have, but your path there may look different than theirs.

This is a message to myself.

It’s time to take the drive instilled by my childhood and use it as fuel. Instead of being frustrated because I’m not moving at the pace I want to move at, I take comfort in knowing that I am at least MOVING.

We have these frustrations; we know where they come from. So what're we going to do about them?

...I take comfort in knowing that I am at least MOVING.

So What to Do About It

My advice? Write down what you’re frustrated about. Make a list. This is now a list of long term goals.

The next step is to formulate a plan to get there. Try to be as detailed as you can with your plan (but remember, life is life, and things don’t always go like we want them).

Finally, start. Just start. Take that first step.

Being proactive towards those goals will make you feel like you have purpose and control over your life again, and those frustrations will turn into determinations.

So hold your head high, my friends, it’s time to ignore society and start toward your goals.

...Here’s to health. Cheers.