Dating a Bodybuilder.

July 19th, 2020

8:00 AM

Show day- carbing up on some gummy bears.

Let’s talk about dating.

Right now, we are in the middle of a global pandemic in which we are encouraged to stand 6 feet apart from each other and wear masks in all public areas...

As if dating wasn’t hard enough…

For the sake of this blog, we are going to pretend the pandemic doesn’t exist and talk about dating when things were “normal”. Specifically, we’re going to dive into how it is to date a bodybuilder.

Of course, this is coming from my own personal experience and, thus, it’s going to reflect my own opinions on what a partner of a competitor should be. Remember, everyone’s different, so this could all be a dollop of fluff for some.

Let’s paint the scene…

When a bodybuilder competitor is on prep, a switch is flipped. All decisions are focused on that upcoming show; what to eat, when to do cardio, when to go to the gym, when to go to bed, when to meal prep, and again- what to eat. Everything revolves around that upcoming show. Having to make these decisions can make a competitor extremely organized. They become massive planners almost to the point of obsession. They tend to be type-A; needing to iron out every detail of their day-- if not their week.

This type of organizational obsession can then cause a competitor to be extremely stressed, easily provoked, and cause them to deal with high levels of anxiety.

On top of all of that, they’re also in a calorie deficit. They’re hungry-- hangry, really.

And this continues for months. MONTHS!

To put it simply, it’s like their PMS-ing everyday for weeks on weeks.

To put it simply, it’s like their PMS-ing everyday for weeks on weeks.

As a competitor gets closer and closer to show day, these traits are only enhanced. And nothing is more stressful than show day. Every little detail of that day could be the difference between first and second place, so the pressure for that competitor to be perfect is inconceivable.

So what kind of person should a competitor date?

A unicorn.

But really, someone who is:

Patient

This person has to be able to handle the mood swings, the hunger scares, the random meltdowns. They have to be patient with their competitor and know that they are dealing with extreme levels of stress.

Understanding

This one is major. Whether or not the partner competes themselves (I will dive into this later), they need to be understanding of the sport of bodybuilding. They need to understand that early morning cardio, bringing tupperware to restaurants, going to the gym twice a day is part of it all.

They need to be understanding as to why their partner has random meltdowns, and why they’ll panic if they run out of chicken. Understanding the why behind the behaviors and emotions of a competitor could be a relationship deal breaker.

Respectful

And if a partner can’t understand why (which is completely understandable. I mean, who CHOOSES to starve themselves, amiright?), they need to be respectful. Being a bodybuilder competitor is a choice; it is a lifestyle that one has decided for themselves, and so it is their choice to eat what they eat, lift how they lift, live how they live. It is also their choice to bring in their partner to this lifestyle.

Because let’s be honest, dating is stressful. And dating is another factor that a competitor has to “plan” in their day.

Confident

My goodness is this important. If you are a partner of a bodybuilder competitor, you have to have extreme confidence in yourself. Here’s why:

1. Most competitors (if not all) are extremely independent. They have to, to be able to be good at this sport. They’re used to saying no and are acutely aware that if they need something done, they can do it themselves.

2. They’re hot. I’m sorry, but this sport is ALL ABOUT BODY IMAGE, so a competitor is probbbbbably going to be extremely attractive since their focus is how their body looks. Not only that, they’re at the gym all the time, lifting, sweating, hardly ever wearing a

Back pose for a bikini competitor.

shirt. Their goal is to look like a Greek statue, so you have to be pretty confident in yourself to date one.

3. To follow up on this; competitors go on stage to be judged by strangers wearing practically nothing. While everyone in the industry knows that it’s all about seeing the muscle and nothing “sexual”, those outside of the bodybuilding world may not understand that. It can be even more difficult for someone to be comfortable with if they’re dating a bikini competitor (see back pose).

4. They have to be confident in how their partner feels about them. During a competition prep, it may seem like you aren’t as important; like you come second in their life. Frankly, yeah this is probably going to be the case for about 12 weeks. During this time, a competitor may not be as “lovey-dovey”. They may not have the energy to care for your needs and most-likely, they’ll probably lose all desire to be intimate with you. When one’s body fat percentage gets to a certain low, all libido is gone.

Goal-driven/Passionate

Whether or not they compete (we’ll get to this...hold your horses!), a competitor’s partner has to be goal-driven or passionate about something in their lives. They have to have something that they’re striving for or something that fuels their fire. The entire reason why someone competes is because they get high on the feeling of accomplishment. There is no other feeling like giving yourself 100% to a goal and accomplishing it. This rush, this fire, this HAS to be in the partner’s life.

But it doesn’t have to be a fitness goal! Or a health goal! It could be their career, their hobby, they could want to have the best rock collection in Pennsylvania. Whatever it is, they need to be passionate about it.

Flexible

This may seem counter-intuitive as a competitor cannot be flexible. Not really anyways. But the partner does. Why? Because a competitor might wake up with a higher weigh-in and now needs to spend more time on the treadmill that day. If you want to go out to eat, they may not be able to do the restaurant you want because there’s nothing on the menu for them to eat. A competitor could agree to meeting your family for dinner, but then has a bad day at work and is too tired to be sociable. These things happen and a partner needs to adjust accordingly.

Ok, now for the big question...

Does the partner of a bodybuilding competitor need to compete as well?

No. Absolutely not. HOWEVER.

They do need to take care of themselves. They need to be “health conscious”. This doesn’t mean they need to lift, or meal prep, or eat salads 24/7, but they do need to live a somewhat healthy lifestyle. If all they do is sit around and eat fast food, yeah, that’s going to be a problem. But if they’re a “normal” person who likes a burger every now and then, that’s ok! As long as they have the 6 traits above, it doesn’t matter if they compete or not.

With that being said, you need to keep in mind that a bodybuilder will most-likely be in the gym at least three hours a day so if you want to actually SEE them, you may need to go to the gym too. Heck, you may need to walk on the treadmill next to them to hear how their day went.

Enjoying a rice cake and jelly before finals.

So Why Even Date a Bodybuilder?

I know this all sounds pretty...well, rough. It’s not easy dating a bodybuilder, but here are the reasons why you should:

1. They’re passionate; they’re driven; they have goals. All of this equates to the fact that they are not BORING. They’re facing challenges head on and overcoming them, and they are choosing to do so! This means that in the future, should you two encounter challenges in your relationship, lives, etc., this person won’t shy away. They’ll be there to overcome it.

2. If you are in their lives, that’s because they really want you to be there. They’re choosing to have you there and to spend time and energy with you. They actually LIKE you. There’s no doubt about that.

3. I’ll say it again, they’re hot. You’re probably dating a smokeshow, and who doesn’t want that?

The Takeaway

A bodybuilder competitor needs help. For as independent and driven as they are, they are as strong as their strongest supporters.

So if you are dating a competitor, know this; they need you. They may never admit it, but they do. You are their rock. You are the one person they let see their weaknesses. They may be the one in the sport, but YOU are the real MVP.

Just remember to keep a bag of celery on you at all times and offer to carry their jug of water. You'll be fine.

So raise your beer, partners, you probably deserve it.

...Here’s to Health. Cheers.